You don't live in a border state, do you?

No comprendo nada que escribes. Pero voy a decir שָׁלוֹם for it is a truer human dream than any dreamer dreams. Peace upon you.

My family was odd. Father's family Orthodox/Chassidic; Mother's Conservative. Both atheistic. Sent me to Orthodox Yeshiva and let me choose.

No, that's an awful answer from any spiritual leader. Dismissive and lazy. A true teacher (which is what Rabbi means) teaches us to cope!

That makes me so sad for her, and for you as her son to see her suffer and cry. It is a myth that health is happiness or pain is punishment.