So instead of believing me she now wants me on gabapentin, hydroxyzine, and an SSRI all of which I've taken at some point in my life and will not do I am down to one prescription, the benzo. I'm a long- term Survivor of terminal illness who might actually die of benzo withdrawals

Several years into medical illness I experienced a major depressive episode I had self-reported those feelings of depression no suicidal ideation no self harm those feelings began 10 days prior to menstruation when it started within minutes no symptoms. I was prescribed Sarafem.

I was told this was the miracle cure for women with severe PMS. It was Fluoxetine of course package just for women like me. Within hours a strange feeling came over me within 6 months I was bleeding almost 30 days a month and no relief from depression at all in fact the opposite.

I became actively suicidal and began acts of self harm. So what did they do raised my dosage to 40 mg from 20 I was in my thirties already and for one day had SSRI induced psychosis with disorientation disassociation and bizarre thoughts I was immediately dropped to 20 mg.

So by now not only did I have what was called CFS for lack of a better way to describe my medical issues along with panic disorder severe anxiety and major depressive disorder with dysthymia along with photosensitive epilepsy and absence seizures. In 2013 my bone marrow failed.

I also showed non-alcoholic cirrhosis of the liver decompensated with no other symptoms then heavy scarring from Nash. I was given chemotherapy and immunotherapy including interferon which cause psychiatric symptoms. Now I had a subclinical mood disorder. Prescribed Quetiapine.

There had also been intermittent use of chlorpromazine for severe nausea which is a first gen anti-psychotic. This caused the already existing neutropenia to become so severe I was down to almost 500 increasing neupogen, bone marrow stem cell stimulant. Very painful side effects.

I was in so much pain and so sick from other drugs as well I was on EPO the Lance Armstrong drug, many other support medications and now enter the opiate era. I got the hell off of those and exchanged it for a medical marijuana card and it worked. Got off of everything but benzo.

So here I am alive 9 years past terminal diagnosis got off of every prescription but the benzo on my own. This one I've taken from 5 mg of clonazepam down to 1 mg per day. But how do I do that on my own if I can't access the prescription in the first place to taper slowly.

The only place I can find to help requires 5,000 to $10,000 out of pocket no insurance allowed. Or illegally or I suffer through and risk dying I am really not sure what to do at this point. @UHC is trying no success. Shame on health "care" shame on big Pharma Shame Shame Shame.