I am grateful to all people who have accepted the intensity and extreme nature of my being. I tried to conform. Worked to behave. I have failed at even with professional help for over half a century. Any ideas how I can explain it without feeling such shame and failure?
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You owe no explanations.馃
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Replying to @kentbrew
I feel as if people want me to give them explanations so I do and then I'm told I'm lying I look too well or I'm so vivacious. I invite them to Rachel swartout at any time to hear a professional point of view. She even has a lovely private room at Arizona Oncology just for that.

May 26, 2022 路 12:01 AM UTC

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Replying to @mholzschlag @kentbrew
My point being, F anyone who is not supporting you. I was so sick when I went back to work. One day, one of the admin sent me home because I was about to pass out from extreme anemia! I will never allow myself to be treated like that again. I was trying to be "good", team player.
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I think I do the same thing I'm a people pleaser I want people to like me because I'm likable and I'm isolated and I'll tell you to Sean has nice people in it but education here is so poor we are 48 contiguous states 46 in education in the USA Arizona home a proud ignorance.
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Replying to @mholzschlag @kentbrew
I felt this way after I was sick. Some admin treated me like I was faking & yet, I almost died! Then a male colleague was sick w/a similar thing & was encouraged to be out 6 months with pay. I was out 4 weeks and was encouraged to work part-time before my dr. cleared me to do.
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OMG I am so sorry that happened to you there is nothing like that but my family except my mother who always knew she would take one look at me and she said I can see it and she wasn't my biggest fan. It was hidden for a very long time and then it wasn't.
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