One issue with ableism is diminishing, increasing and comparing pain. People often talk about conditions they suffer and apologize for my "worse" issues. Or, diminish issues "it can't be that bad you're so energetic" avoid with me. Pain is pain and suffering just sucks full stop.

I'd rather be well than be an "inspiration" any day.

Agree except if I can inspire as educator, friend, helper - as service and empathy. My husband and my once partner in music crimes were wheelchair bound and got such bullshit for "being independent" or my friend "A girl with a guitar, and that voice, inspirational!" Judgement sux

Oh, sure. But I don't want to inspire people just because I didn't off myself when I became chronically ill.

I have so I must be uninspirational! I could have been covert but I wasn't build that way. Processor is externally installed. Replacing it is too dangerous now :)

I do believe in terminally ill patients when they reach intolerable pain shoud absolutely have the legal right to choose asissted death. This isn't suicide to me, but I'm borrowing oncology and palliative care ideas with the opiate form of compassionate death.

My mother-in-law in Holland had cancer of the jaw and chose to die by euthanasia. There was so much grace and kindness in it. My condition is neither fatal nor (usually) agonizing. Debilitating enough to counteract a huge amount of privilege re income, but not worse than death

You are lucky to know how to acknowledge your life's fortunes as well as balance that with your life's pain. It's an extraordinary balance that I myself could surely benefit from advice and help myself in correcting. Any advice?

Honestly, I spent a lot of years bewailing the tragedy that had befallen me. Beyond the natural grief and rage of the experience, I mean, because it's a real loss giving up who and what you were. It took time, therapy, three 12-Step programs and medication to get where I am.

And where I am is still a hot mess often enough.