I have thought a lot about trauma and the dissolution of identity through grief and enormous loss. I have made the decision that no one can understand what it means to lose a mother a husband a career a beloved home and everything I ever dreamed of in the course of one year -

Jan 13, 2021 · 5:03 PM UTC

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what that did to a sick dying woman already. If you can't figure that out please do not follow me anymore. I am what I am and I will pick up the pieces as I can or I won't but I will not stand for being denigrated and hated and misunderstood for merely being Human.
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I will speak my mind I will write my mind and whether you consider it crazy or not I do not care this is my right until the end of my life. I helped build this crap that became social media I belong here more than most.
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I am not kidding you do not want me as I am or you want to attack or denigrate my Humanity go away please. Otherwise I welcome you as my friends and I need you more than you will ever know and more than I know how to express. Thank you for reading and hanging in with me always.
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I do push people away I'm terrified to let anyone help me except in the most distant and remote ways and I am ready for change in myself in others and the world. May Life bless us all with Better Days.
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Replying to @mholzschlag
3) But, know this, oh amazing one... your sadness & loss can still be mitigated by the simple fact that you are an original, an outstanding, uncompromising individual who continues to fight the attrition of life, simply by your existence & by WHO YOU HAVE INSPIRED!
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Pablo those words are so warm and kind and supportive. And you know that I don't feel that anything I do mitigates anything I've done otherwise. I think that's a very human thing at least when you're not I'm narcissistic megalomaniac who gets impeached more than once. Thank you.
Replying to @mholzschlag
You may never read this, among the other supportive words people will post, but I have and will always appreciate how you and your work have guided my own path. I understand not wanting help — I do the same. But, if you need a stranger to listen, *please* contact me.
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Thank you. That is a truly kind offering and I am very moved by the amount of people as well as the quality of individuals in my life. I want to make right by everybody including myself. Support is everything.
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Replying to @mholzschlag
All of my close friends have a rough history. Once you go through enough things, it's difficult for people to relate to you in the same way. Trauma literally alters our brains and we can never be the same. We can only try to do something with ourselves that we find worthwhile.
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I'm studying the physiological effects of trauma and you are absolutely correct these are not mental illnesses these are human ones. We assault the brain with shock too many times and all of us are in it right now if we have any empathy. Expect life-altering physiological changes
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