There Comes A Time in people's lives where their so-called friends don't have a clue what their reality is anymore maybe that's my fault I shut up because I new everybody was sick of me. I haven't been saying much because I am battling a systemic fungal infection not responding.
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I have become bitter because people just leave each other by the side of the roads in torment because of our stupid biases that say if a person is acting a certain way that means she is mean cruel, insane, wrong - and true or not it's pure guessing without facts.
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I still want to come back and I don't have the structure, medical support, social support, economic support and everybody else seems to comfort themselves believing that human negativity is the product of mental illness alone despite 54 years or more with Bone Marrow Aplasia.
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I perceive others want me to be dead, in agony or hugely successful and focused. Well I am a human being it's time people started treating me like one. I spent a lifetime of helping others but only a few years broken from grief and sorrow and loss of unspeakable proportions.

Oct 27, 2020 · 3:01 AM UTC

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There are very few people who were born into such a sick family with sickness, death and destruction. My bros and I figured out to give something back to the world for the positive. I know I did that. Shame on others for ever doubting. Bless your love without judgment or pity.
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Money helped. It definitely didn't cure me and it definitely made me feel like shit on your shoes. Have a nice fucking life. I intend to be buried with my husband if they let me be buried at all and I don't want my bones to burn but I want to be with him.
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Children lost to medical ignorance. Brain and body unable to be with any human soul. pharmaceuticals tthat gave me worse diseases (Iatrgenia). My decades of noble work, marriage, advocacy and I can't even sell a fucking domain name to live out the rest of my life in dignity.
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Read up on bone marrow aplasia and long-term aphasia in medical patients. Read up on spectrum and developmental disorders due to every conceivable form of abuse that I and my brothers had to suffer for the majority of Our Lives. That we contribute to good is fucking amazing.
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You know I don't want gratitude and oh you poor thing anymore. What I want was my friendships and the trust I once had for people and I don't have anymore because very few have proven themselves worthy of such a thing.
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If you really want to know who I am and you really want to be with me get over the idea that rage and brain damage are not related. I want sincerity and kindness or I want nothing to do with Humanity that can't muster empathy for others much less what they called a friend.
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