Is any apparently simple document more confusing and self-contradictory than a United Utilities water bill?

Have you read a W3C spec? LOL!

Would that be a special treat? I've already been trying to make sense of a page that simultaneously says my account is in credit, that I've got to pay them, and that my bill is for an apparently unrelated small amount.

Also, added/hidden fees perhaps? Oh I hate that.

I don't think it's that—I think it's a conflict between fixed changeable monthly amounts and actual calculated bills based on the meter readings. And it's possible that the payment that's due isn't due yet or is the one I've already made.

Do you have online or phone access to clarify at some point soon?

I should be able to get them online at least, I think. I just want to double check where I'm paid up to really.