Thanks for the kind thoughts for my birthday. I know I can look at it a different way, but I'm not there yet. For me, it represents the joy I felt when my husband Ray was in inpatient rehab at the V.A. and actually walked with support as a gift for me. 12 days later he was dead.

Jan 27, 2020 · 7:38 AM UTC

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I'm traumatinzed. People keep saying "three years is long enough to mourn, move on. Find a husband. Blah blah blah." No. Not anyone's right to put false limitation on grief and loss and anyone who tried should be ashamed. So grateful for your love, my friends. I'm hurting bad.
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Replying to @mholzschlag
The death of a loved one—for me, my first child—is the loss of part of yourself. You cannot be the same afterwards. But … of course, you know that. I send hope that you'll cope with the new normal, and on your own time. And that well-meaning but broken people just … let you.
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I can't even imagine. And I agree, we lose sometimes not just ourselves but the entire infrastructure of our lives, our homes, our dreams. "You cannot be the same afterwards." I will never be the same. I don't want to. All heartfelt thoughts to you.
Replying to @mholzschlag
Time can mean F*** all when the pain, heartache and grief hurts so much. Memories don’t care for time, it can still feel like yesterday. I’m so sorry that it’s hurting so much for you. I’ve got the first anniversary coming up of losing my dad (diagnosis to loss, 5 days.) it hurts
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I couldn't have said it better. And no one knows this quite like those of us who suffer such massive punches to our fragile hearts. I'm truly sad for your loss.
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