It is the true teacher who leaves the class knowing they have learned the most.
Tucson, AZ
Joined September 2006
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For All I ever wanted and I believe this is true for so many it's just somehow be understood accepted as we are and forgiven for our trespasses for we all make them but we must own them and so few people care to own anything but things. I am so sorry for your suffering I'm here
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Is it possible that we can help each other? What can I do to help you? What can you do to help me? Maybe if we figure that out we'll start something better. I thought that was the Web was supposed to be. But it is greed that breeds poverty. But I miss the good Good in people.
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They became my family and in many ways they understood me but they still are separated by a world and I sincere filling out I do not resuscitate my living will my desire to never see a hospital again or be touched in the wrong way by anyone ever is a lonely horrible experience.
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I want to help you I want to fix you I want to help fix the whole wide world and I know that it's impossible. So I destroy myself instead cuz I feel useless and helpless and can only ask what can I do to help today just one person. In my career there have been so many good people
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What kind of world is this where we Revere the single greatness of a rich man over the suffering of a young man trying so hard to do what's right in this world and work and not suffer so much? I don't have a clue.
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The only way I know how is to just reach out and say how can I help offer comfort respect your boundaries and I've done that but the one boundary I never respected was my own I never took care of myself in fact I hurt myself constantly perhaps because that's what I deserve?
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I do not understand why people think there's only one reason for everything it doesn't work that way in this world cause and effect are not singular and I don't think human beings will ever evolve beyond the needs of their own pain. It hurts me to my car and I wanted to fix this.
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I have friends but they are scattered across the world and most of them have passed. Or simply have the lives of their own. I have never been supported outside of my industry as anything but a horrible insane person who's making it all up here I am in palliative care at 60?
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Does a 14 year old run away from people she loves? What happens to a 14 year old girl in urban disrupted City? The truth of my life is untold mostly and people think I'm open but I don't say the things I want to say which is I am struggling always to see the best in other people.
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Disabled completely by age 21 I still stood up every damn time and went back to work I found a way to enrich my life and found friends and family across the world. I wasn't healthy I was a baby boomer I disappeared at 14 years old no one ever called the police. My father was gone
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For the rest of my life I have been challenged with bleeding and medical disorders that redeemed behavior or that I was stupid bad and everything that happened was my fault. Was it? I am now 60 and I am dying I have never heard a doctor a brother a family member say I'm so sorry.
I did have a pediatrician . My mother told the doctor it's her fault she picks her nose something I never did and still can't do without being in private and using tissues and hygienic methods. I was never looked at further. My father was kinder but neither stayed or held my hand
The doctor began asking me questions but it was the '60s there were no laws in place for doctors to call the police or make an incident report he began to talk to me and ask me questions. At one point he had my parents brought in and told them your daughter needs a specialist.
I bled through a towel and then half of another one finally my father insisted we go to the emergency room. I remember this incident because it was followed by five others with the same ER doc. They never stayed in the room Dad ran out to smoke Mom ran after him screaming.
At 4 years old my nose began bleeding very badly. My parents were engaged in a terrible war of their own my mother hated doctors often with good reason my father was it in decline with problems of his own their solution was to give me a hand towel and put my head back. I obeyed.
I had known since a very early age in fact birth that there were medical problems and soon thereafter they became perceived as behavioral because outwardly I didn't show any symptoms other than the very hyperactive talkative opinionated obnoxious. So I was a bad girl. Misbehaved.
Sitting beside me was a friend of the web community who's now passed his name well-known to many, Joseph O'Connor. I have no idea who called him and how he was by my side or why looking so concerned as was the nurse in the room. I wasn't afraid I was confused so what happened?
On July 15th 2013 I was returning from open webcamp 5. Transferring planes in LAX I collapsed on the floor. I woke up 4 days later I believe in the hospital in Los Angeles being transfused with blood and platelets my body entirely covered in massive hematomas, purpura, petichea.
I am very interested in what we're doing in artificial intelligence but only as it applies to human help and aid and not oh look at this thing I can mark it today and make money off of we're not ready. The true fact is we know so little about the positive factors of these things.