It is the true teacher who leaves the class knowing they have learned the most.
Tucson, AZ
Joined September 2006
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I am enjoying this journey with you it's transition and that is the state of all life until it isn't so a transitional phase BH identity or losing a loved one or changing cities or what have you often transforms so much in our lives. I am drawn to genuine stories I learn so much
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I don't know I'm not white I have never felt particularly privileged or male or the need to be privileged or male LOL I feel confident in the world I went where I felt I was wanted and needed and that took me face-to-face with captains of industry like Gates and never backed down
I have had shouting fights over this with professional stoic men so ignorant medically and less of a clue about real human beings because of assumptions. my red cells are damaged and make Sickle cells at times. Doc calls asks are you African- American? I knew what was coming.
I go into real rages doctors especially will fill in my identities because I won't. Hispanic ethnicity? Yes but not because I speak Spanish. I really hate when people insist I can be nothing but this thing called White. These questions are the greatest dividers of human beings.
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I don't find forcing anybody to be something they aren't to be acceptable in any way shape or form. That's called assimilation it has been done by despots and tyrants throughout human history and has no place in a progressive contemporary social world it is a form of genocide.
And yet look what he put up with as very sensitive boy with obvious interest in Aesthetics a very unique and feminine expression of self who showed no preference for men or women until he was old enough to decide free of bias as possible begin dating men and met his life love.
Sadly though she had a lot of rage and it came out physically more on my brother Morris whom she adored and brutality became his for a while he overcame it though and I asked him how he said I realized how exhausting it is to be that awful and filled with rage! Best of us all
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So for that I'm very grateful and took joy in caring for my brothers when my mom wasn't enthusiastic about the logistics of motherhood but loves her children. she was an academic, a scholar, an activist on a mission to prove a woman could have a Ph D and still do it all and did.
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But thank goodness I had him when I was born as first child because she turned away and repeatedly in her narcissistic personality way repeating over and over the story "I looked at you and saw a tiny baby who was the strongest smartest fiercest creature" I was two days old.
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She herself had relationships with women and men was more into men typically and usually the worst of them except my dad who was send into South Korea with his best friend came home with a broken head a Purple Heart fragments of shrapnel and his best friend in his back. He broke.
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I wanted to have six daughters but then I had you!
She was brilliant beautiful not in the least a nurturer good heavens the opposite she left that for me and what was left of my father. She had anger because I took her perfect image of me as her doll and jumped in mud puddles.
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Yes this I call it the hyper male syndrome and saw it a lot before women started dominating medical schools just as they were starting to rise up in the medical profession they became aggressively stoic and what would be perceived as qualities related to men. Self assimilation?
Throw away the bias and phobia is what I meant sorry to realize yourself. Isn't that the goal of all Psychotherapy at this point in history for good or bad to be self-actualized self-realized made manifest in identity that is true to who we are as we are not as others want us?
Well I was born with XX chromosomes and have every female and feminine attributes intact but for personality traits and excess chin hair ironically considering I didn't have it on my head for years;-) I haven't been perceived as really female as no woman says or acts in that way.
We're all victims of unjust societal results some of us object to it and protest. I suspect you are already well on your way to being your very own free human. I mean free because you can throw away by us and embrace yourself as you are for who you are. that is self realization.
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I know that this is possibly considered marginalizing it is not intended to be that I have been standing up to all forms of prejudice my whole life and there's some real hate that's come my way for ethnic gender identity fluid sexuality and direct open unedited expression..
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Not because of any other reason then she had had a picture of having six daughters that you can dress up like little dolls this is a feminist scholar by the way I'm I'm describing a very renowned woman and that they would be just like her femme-fatale perfectionism hahaha hahaha
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In this regard I was truly blessed to be raised by crazy people who caused harm but never this type of harm. From childhood we were surrounded by characters of every sort, books of every ilk, ideas of every possibility. So lucky for that on the other hand my mom was brutal to me
That makes a lot of sense from a personal exploration and identity point of view. Is it as if there is a split because of a heuristic that was exogenous something born into and struggled with the natural way you felt as girl or Woman vs bias in status quo defaulting to phobia.?