It is the true teacher who leaves the class knowing they have learned the most.
Tucson, AZ
Joined September 2006
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Three kids, two are depressives (me, one bro) and another brother who started down rage's path and gave himself some truths. All with PTSD, OCD traits and 2 out of 3 trichotilomania, which in siblings screams to psychologists "severe and persistent child abuse" nature x nurture.
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Both parents had "mental" illness. Mom was diagnosed narcissistic personality disorder became anti-social later in life. She died with no friends. Kids and a man who betrayed us. My Dad? Depression, horses (OTB) drugs, PTSD (Korean war). Both died of brain cancer. Curious, huh?
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She was herself an overly complex bureacracy! How funny you are. My brothers complied. I'm the oldest so I had it longer. I tried Kafka on for a few months but it felt like a castle I couldn't leave. My husband's last name was Poore. I didn't want to be Poore I said. He laughed.
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To make my mother happy was only possible for me when I sang or got a degree. She was impossible to please. She was more extreme than I ever have been, and very mean. Diagnosed Narcissist but high functioning with sparks of beautiful. Hyperverbal intensity, made me look comatose.
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Speaking of identity, Mom never forgave me for keeping the last name I've kept and not taking her family name when they divorced. Kafka. I tried it on, personality fit well, name just did not (yes, maternal lineage to sister of Franz Kafka - explains a lot about me, and how!)
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My parents rarely protected us. From learning, reading, knowing, doing bad stuff and most damaging - their illnesses. I love them always but for the sicknesses they passed on.
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I just told a dear friend who identifies as "white, queer, working class" that was a straight-forward answer and put myself in pun prison. You just outdid me, Andrew. At least we can pun cell to cell! Ha!
I think that's the hallmark of my difference and social issues with others. I have told whoppers, I have done things that would shock moralities, and I am often very rude. Yet, there is not one question I will answer with a lie. Sadness, concern, regrets? Yes. Shame of life? No.
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This. Completely this. Everyone should visit the Smithsonian Holocaust Museum. I never say six million Jews anymore, it was eugenics and so well documented by the Nazis themselves it's mind-blowing.
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No, Edison alone did not invent the light bulb. No, Benjamin Franklin did not discover electricity flying a kite. No, DNA was not "seen in a dream." Why do we do this stuff? What benefit do we get from rewriting history other than self-aggrandizement or false comfort?
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Even I was taught bullshit in History regarding the USA welcoming the first Holocaust refugees with open arms. IN AN ORTHODOX YESHIVA. Patently, provably false. What the USA and allied troops did do was free the camps after D-Day. Does anyone actually learn historical facts?
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I always drop a tweet that stops the world. Pin drop. People really hate the truth and/or don't know history because we're not taught it. Follow up: Twitter melted down a few weeks ago when the name "Adolf" was only associated with Hitler. Many Jewish Adolfs, but pre-Hitler.
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What's damning about ill defined identity and co-opting words, symbols and other features of any group is conflicting truths. A Persian (Iranian) Jew could hold up what's now a swastika and say she's Aryan and it's true to the genetic heritage but with no context? That's a Nazi.
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I admire him and often hope he finds his way off the hard stuff. It's too easy here as this is the first city on one of the largest cocaine, meth, heroin and fentanyl highways in the world, from South America to Canada. I did my share of trying when young but nothing hard stuck.
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I think anyone like my friend or you actually had the capacity to think beyond the influences of youth. You have your own minds. He now is a very different person and despite a real problem with a hard drug (in treatment but not working well) he's hard working, smart and kind.
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He was totally a product of his family until he starting working as a roofer and met a gay black man who became his best friend and laid some woke on him. That, and getting popped for substance distribution and landing in an Arpaio camp for 2 years opened his eyes wide to life.
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