It is the true teacher who leaves the class knowing they have learned the most.

Tucson, AZ
Joined September 2006
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Replying to @mpaciello
It's the heaviest weight for those who have had spouses that were absolutely wonderful people and who gave us strength, hope and courage when we didn't know we had it. That gift of the other person's love is the treasure we must hang on to and to the living, as you said.
Replying to @mpaciello
In a world without our most beloveds, the anchor point of home and all our yesterdays and what we hoped for tomorrow. Grief and mourning look emotional, but I now see loss as a injury. All the emotions are a response to literal pain not for loss of limb but our entire worlds.
Replying to @mpaciello
I did not know your wife Mike, but as a widow I do know how overhwelming and awful and at times horrific pain and process can be, expecially in the first days, weeks, months. There is no one way to mourn, and no time limit on the toll of how we have to now adapt somehow...
A symphony of chaos minutes then years planck time, superon time can count further beyond entropy feasts on time drink up, start delighting With vision we will see stars so bright day, night from another time Light is Shining No end No end Our lives: Forever, friend.
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Really struggling with words that matter. @mpaciello. Chris has left us too. Such a density of grief and death An orchestra of tragey. Faced with such loss personal and global how do we cope? I want to comfort everyone. You comfort me. What can I do?
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Grief is unspeakable. It makes sounds all of its own.
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Replying to @timtfj
Again, context. It only came together for me this week where fear turns to love. There's an interim step which revealed itself to me as that profound forgiveness of everything, everyone, myself, even despots, madmen and haters perhaps need it even more for they lack the capacity.
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Replying to @timtfj
SO RIGHT! And the hardest part for me. I do address that, but the nature of Twitter breaks up longer form. It creates a unique experience. I do have the full text on FB and the latter few tweets in that thread speak exactly to how true forgiveness must be universal and revisited.
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Replying to @lawlibber
I will help as I am able. First: Do you have access to medical care of quality and if so have you been looked at medically? Second: Do you have access to progressive behavioral health care and if so, have you been evaluated and/or diagnosed? Finally: Are you on meds of any kind?
I forgive. I love. I will not hold hatred in my heart for it poisons me and everyone around me. Anger? Bitchiness? Those ain't leaving. But I will not do unto others what I do not want done to me. I don't want any of us to #HATE or #FEAR. I LOVE YOU ALL. NO MATTER WHAT.
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I began to #FORGIVE using the same method: roleplay. Fortunately, I only had a short list left as I want forgiveness too and if I want something surely I must also have the capacity to offer it. It's only logical! The conclusion of this story is that this is a path to #LOVE.
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When we truly look #FEAR in the face, we must also learn to manage all those negative feelings. No matter the belief system, the pervasive message and instinct in my head had to do with #FORGIVENESS - and not just one or two but ALL including ourselves.
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One issue remained unresolved for me, and that was the question of how #FEAR lead to love. We all see how fear leads to hatred, to anger - a lot of negative emotion. But real love? It's taken years, but I recognize this week how it played out for me.
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I did this several times, saying a variety of things (well, yelling at times lol). She hugged me and told me she loved me. Sadly, she left us all too soon, but she has never left me. Her love and wisdom halted overwhelming fear. We eradicated #FEAR beyond its flight or fight use.
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The roleplay process that almost completely eradicated #FEAR for me in a matter of hours to this day is this. 1. Take a chair and place it in front of you. 2. Imagine or use a doll/pillow/whatever works to anthropomorphiize FEAR 3. THANK FEAR FIRST 4. ASK FEAR TO NOT PERSIST
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I met a woman a few years my elder. She'd been born with a congenital heart disease. She had what isi known as xenotransplantation. A pig's heart in place of her diseased one. She was inspirational and wise beyond lifetimes. She talked to me about #FEAR and role played a process.
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Fast forward #FEAR a few years. I'd returned to Tucson with a diagnosis of "CFS" (aka M.E.). Not exactly a helpful or a real diagnosis, but a persistent set of common symptoms showing up in a lot of people testing negative for HIV/AIDS. This is how I found BBSs > Internet > Web!
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Eda was a biologist. She sat with me and talked about #FEAR from a scientific perspective. She explained it was our oldest defense - limbic system, adrenals - flight or fiight response. She also said that #FEAR is the origin of all human emotion, even love. I raged against that!
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What I underwent in the next year was just insane not only for me but for everyone - medical folks, family, friends. Illness and #FEAR especially can be crippling. My Mom and her partner went to Europe for vacation. Her friend Eda, a fellow professor at Kean University, visited.
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