It is the true teacher who leaves the class knowing they have learned the most.
Tucson, AZ
Joined September 2006
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“How my startup acquired Molly.com — without it costing a fortune or my soul” by @EstherCrawford medium.com/@EstherCrawford/h…
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My heart hurts to know of the violence today at @YouTube / @google - sadly I fear this is only the beginning of profile changes in workplaces and gender when it comes to rising mental health issues in a time of great divisiveness and alienation. #youtubeshooting #empathy #sad
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I don't need #help though I thank you for the support dear @carywood I WANT to see whoever can visit me before I leave. My needs are mostly handled now by the State and some continued donations to medical trust. I value my friends and colleagues as humans. I just want to see you.
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Back from more doctor bullshit. If you want to see me, you can visit. I am now at end-stage disease and major organs like spleen, liver and brain are all in some state of demise. 6-12 months best guess. it's been a hell of a life. Emphasis on hell. I look forward to the end now.
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Docs double my Prozac dosage and give me 10 days of Morphine for pain. Mixed message much? It is kind of funny. I laugh at the irony as too tired for tears. I've got rent paid so not a carcass in street. #gratitude for support. I'd say I love you but don't believe love anymore.
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Just in case you thought I was joking I really did go visit cardboard #TommyChong just now and got a hug and xj13 Chong's Choice #MedicalMarijuana #cannabis great 4 emotional trauma, #PTSD and clinical #cachexia. I feel better already despite #BigPharma approaches. #gratitude
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First there was Schrödinger's Cat. Then came @ThisMissMolly. Now ya got Schrödinger's Bitch. Someone open the box already! #levity with special thanks to the XJ-13 brought to me by a cardboard @tommychong at @ShangoCannabis. Also, a Coca Cola for the tummy. #MMJ #cannabis #better
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I'm not either. What I'm agonizing over is I'm the cat in the box but the box hasn't been opened yet. Shcroedinger's Bitch.
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that is true about depression, I'll give you that. It tells lies to the victim mind. I'm fragmented. My stronger self knows. I'm just exhausted fighting a body that keeps trying to die and a mind and heart that won't. It feels an infinite loop.
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I wanted the movie to have a different ending is all. I know I'm not alone in that desire for a happy ending. This is relentless trauma and people add insult to my injury. No one has my back in reality. It's illusory. Well-meaning, loving at heart, and very moving, but not 3d.
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You're very sweet stef. I'm glad you still care. I wish you didn't. I want everyone to stop caring so I can stop caring too.
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Depression is to be expected in end stage disease. I can't fix me. No one can. It's not like we didn't try. I do appreciate the people who helped me give it a go. I feel I can't fight anymore. Too little blood left, too little hope. Why do I still care so much? I need closure.
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The fewer the better. Why make other people care about me? It just prolongs the pain. I honestly just figure it's better that way. I will yell myself out and be quietly forgotten to time. It's okay, I don't mind that part. It's the everyone dies or goes away part that hurts me.
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me too. I have the broken knuckles to prove it. Rage is all I have left since being backstabbed by people who were supposed to be family when I did right by them. I've not been right minded since.
I've forgotten who was going to take my cat. Someone please look after Honey? She's the only one who gave a damn about the realities of my physical being except for my ghost husband. The rest? Theory. Vaporware. Illusion. The Web is my delusion now. Please care for Honey.
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