Just had a long conversation with my partner about how to find a balance between fighting for a better world, and not letting my family suffer from the effects of me being constantly stressed by exposure to the violence of what I'm fighting against. It's an ongoing struggle tbh

Doing this work isn't really optional because there are too many lives on the line, it simply must be done. But I also need to be a good partner, mother, daughter and friend, and the cyclical anxiety & depression caused by being attuned to the world take a huge toll on my energy

So I'm trying to find ways to learn & work while minimizing exposure to upsetting images & stories, but that's really, really difficult when your work is on capitalism and the Drug War. Of course my side work being social media is also hilariously terrible for mental health lol

An anthropologist friend recently pointed out that our kin obligations are essential, but we also need to work to reframe kinship more broadly. People I don't know who are sitting in prison are my kin. I do this work for them. But... I'm also literally a mother, to a baby.

My daughter needs me to have energy to play, my partner needs me to not snap at him because I'm in a bad mood from being called an idiot by a liberal or because I was reading about cartel violence. Yes, I am privileged to be able choose when to check out. I still have to do it.

PS I posted this thinking I was going to get told to stop complaining, most people are suffering more, get over myself etc and it turns out that people on here are actually much more empathetic than my own internal voice, which is nice