I know...you can recommend Iraqis use sage-smudge-sticks to deter Iran from invading. You could sell them and continue the current administration's grift-o-rama.

Yes, your analysis of the situation is what the country is anxiously awaiting.

We can't rub arnica on this one and make it better. Just thought you should know that going in.

Fire up the VHS player and keep us posted. Merci

Wait, who are you again??

The nation holds its breath...

Here it is:

Rub some crystals on it

No thanks

But I signed up for the telepathy.