can't wait for my wall battery to leak my bank account info and social security number

i think there's an energizer bunny joke here somewhere...

Uh...maybe because being able to push patches is a good idea. Something you've bitched about before (and rightly so).

Read Powershell instead

because they’re control freaks?

Cancerous design

Having a connected lithium ion bomb is the future

Industrial-type connections. Reliable channels. Not friggin wifi!

First rule of "industrial" connections is - never rely on wireless of any kind, if you can use a wire. Wifi in necessary for mobile devices