theory: twitter is literally run by a monkey's paw

users: let us be verified too *monkey's paw curls* twitter: okay! your followers now get suspended for saying "you're fucking great, dude"

users: give us tools to filter tweets *monkey's paw curls* twitter: okay! you don't like curse words right? those are filtered now.

users: please update tweetdeck, did you forget it exists *monkey's paw curls* twitter: avatars are now circles. the buttons hurt your eyes