Update: I added a bunch of salt to this broccoli soup to trick my brain into thinking I'm eating actual food. Now it tastes like salty bitterness instead of nothing.
That seemed to be the closest they had to an Americano, but then they forgot to add hot water and milk that I asked for, so I ended up with just an espresso shot anyway
I ordered a vegan sugar-free brownie from this place in Vienna and they rang it up as a "Böses Croissant" (evil croissant) 😈
Also it's on "Invalidenstraße" which if I saw that on my GPS directions I would definitely think there had been some sort of error
Ugh it's basically a legitimatized scam as far as I can tell. I had to register to get an Apple Developer Account but that's the only thing I've ever needed it for.