This is the new @microsoft mantra.

Oh so I need a new app - the Microsoft Family safety app isn't enough and there are "Content Restrictions" on the website? We'll try that.

Hidden in the little ℹ️ is cross play info. I wonder if that will switch on Multiplayer?

Didn't work either. I've paid £25 to @MojangSupport for the privilege of UATing their shit XBox integration. My weekend rate is £1000/day. You owe me £975. Think I've run out of options. But I've got an autistic daughter, so I'm literally not able to "play something else".

If this is an eventual consistency problem, I'm going down to @microsoft UK HQ down the road with a placard that says "you're shit".

Try again soon? I've been at this for hours @xboxuk you ridiculous twatmonkeys. I just want to play Minecraft on a PC LAN. Been PC LAN gaming since 1996. Why is your system so crap?

Microsoft virtual agent tells me to reinstall the Xbox windows app. I tell them it will cause a restart; they disagree. I uninstall and the installer fails. Advice online is to restart computer. Virtual assistant closes. Looks like I'll start that again.

You've got such a long way to go. You're clearly incapable. I'd give up now, if I were you.

That didn't work. What a surprise. Ridiculous to think the @microsoft virtual agent could actually help.

After following pointless reinstalls from the virtual agent, who even suggested resetting the newly-reset laptop, I waited overnight and boom - Minecraft has multiplayer. @MojangSupport either get rid of the lag or get rid of the family permissions.