At this point I'm begging Twitter for help, I'm running a @Minecraft @MojangSupport server on my tower. All my friends can connect and use said server. I want to join on my laptop. It will not connect at all.

Hmm, if your friends can connect but you can't, it might be a firewall issue from your laptop / tower preventing local connections. Have you tried double checking and allowing Java (or Minecraft for Windows) on both devices, or temporarily disabling it? ^IV

please fix this problem of not being able to enter the account and the game exited by itself please