What device are you playing on? Does this only happen when cross-playing with users on a different platform? Also make sure to check that you have permissions enabled, those steps can be found here: bit.ly/3zjgZ6W ^AM
For assistance with your Microsoft account, please reach out to Microsoft Support at bit.ly/3PsyrMR on Twitter, or through their help site directly: bit.ly/3ICFoJ7. ^FF