The top five ideas Republicans had to distract from Trump's treason, before settling on impeachment:
5. Swatting Adam Schiff's house.
4. Surgically replacing Kevin McCarthy's spine, live on the House floor, with no anesthesia.
3. Dare the dems to count the rings on Mitch McConnell's neck and try to guess how old he is.
2. Turn Clarence and Ginni Thomas's life as corrupt traitors into a reality show called "F you, Libtards!"
1. Attack the Capitol.