Hard Drive @HardDriveMag

Honest games, entertainment, and culture reporting supported by our community on Patreon: patreon.com/thehardtimes

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Joined May 2017
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Newly Hatched Baby Pokémon Gains 23 Levels Watching Dragonite Beat Shit Out of Gym Leader hard-drive.net/hd/video-game…

Newly Hatched Baby Pokémon Gains 23 Levels Watching Dragonite Beat Shit Out of Gym Leader

KANTO — Several minutes after being hatched from an egg received from a nearby day care center, a newborn baby Squirtle gained 23 levels at…

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Hard Drive retweeted
just another rock @ebveebv
21 Aug 2023
I bet this guy would be pretty good at it, give him a chance!
Hard Drive @HardDriveMag
21 Aug 2023
20 Real Italians Who Should Play Mario Now That Charles Martinet Is Retiring hard-drive.net/hd/list/20-re…
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Children’s Cartoon Not Reaching Intended Audience of Queer Twenty-Somethings hard-drive.net/hd/entertainm…

Children's Cartoon Not Reaching Intended Audience of Queer Twenty-Somethings

LOS ANGELES — Creators of the new hit cartoon Starlight Mountain recently expressed disappointment that, despite high ratings among toddlers, their show wasn’t reaching their…

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Dad Worried Son Views Weekend Custody as Filler Arc hard-drive.net/hd/entertainm…

Dad Worried Son Views Weekend Custody as Filler Arc

BETHPAGE, N.Y. — After multiple failed attempts at connecting with his son, single father Frank Corbin has reportedly begun to worry that his weekend custody…

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Hard Drive @HardDriveMag
21 Aug 2023
20 Real Italians Who Should Play Mario Now That Charles Martinet Is Retiring hard-drive.net/hd/list/20-re…
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Hard Drive @HardDriveMag
21 Aug 2023
20 Real Italians Who Should Play Mario Now That Charles Martinet Is Retiring hard-drive.net/hd/list/20-re…
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Hard Drive @HardDriveMag
21 Aug 2023
20 Real Italians Who Should Play Mario Now That Charles Martinet Is Retiring hard-drive.net/hd/list/20-re…
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20 Real Italians Who Should Play Mario Now That Charles Martinet Is Retiring hard-drive.net/hd/list/20-re…
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Manga on Hiatus After Artist Takes Bathroom Break hard-drive.net/hd/entertainm…

Manga on Hiatus After Artist Takes Bathroom Break

TOKYO — Popular manga Brave Fighter’s Journey was recently put on hiatus by its publisher as writer and artist Okobo Toshiro took a brief break…

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21 Aug 2023
Cuphead Bosses Ranked by How Well They Would Handle Meeting My Parents hard-drive.net/hd/list/cuphe…
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Nearly Unusable Controller Still in Rotation Because It Looks Cool hard-drive.net/hd/video-game…

Nearly Unusable Controller Still in Rotation Because It Looks Cool

HUNTSVILLE, Texas — Roommates Audley Stoddard, Jay Heath, and Corwin Reed have announced their intention to continue regularly using a virtually broken controller because it…

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Can’t Wait for Disco Elysium 2? Here’s 8 Subreddits You Can Start Political Arguments In hard-drive.net/hd/list/cant-…
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Cuphead Bosses Ranked by How Well They Would Handle Meeting My Parents hard-drive.net/hd/list/cuphe…
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Single Viewer of Twitch Stream Under More Pressure Than Streamer hard-drive.net/hd/tabletop-g…

Single Viewer of Twitch Stream Under More Pressure Than Streamer

ROCKVILLE, M.D. — After accidentally clicking on “bigjeremygaming_33 plays minecraft (xbox) very funny,” local Twitch user Nathan Elbaum came to the uncomfortable realization that he…

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Christian Mothers Agree It’s Actually Pretty Neat How ‘Doom Eternal’ Updated Its Combat System to Discourage Camping hard-drive.net/hd/video-game…

Christian Mothers Agree It's Actually Pretty Neat How ‘Doom Eternal’ Updated Its Combat System to...

SHEBOYGAN, Wisc. — In an impromptu meeting reacting to the release of the latest game in the controversial Satanic-themed first-person shooter franchise, a coalition of…

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3DS Charger Really Making Drawer a Nightmare to Navigate hard-drive.net/hd/video-game…

3DS Charger Really Making Drawer a Nightmare to Navigate

DIMEBOX, Texas — As she attempted to locate another power supply that’s actually still in regular rotation, local gamer Willoughby Turner quickly realized that her…

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Entire Friendship Based on Remembering ‘Zombies Ate My Neighbors’ hard-drive.net/hd/video-game…

Entire Friendship Based on Remembering 'Zombies Ate My Neighbors'

TEMPE, Ariz. — Sources have confirmed that John Baker and Cassidy Goodrich still have not realized that their entire relationship was formed upon their shared…

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All 86 Mainline Mega Man Bosses Ranked by How Good of a Roommate I Think They’d Be hard-drive.net/hd/list/all-8…
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Gamer Who Hasn’t Had a Glass of Water in a Week Says He Gets Physically Ill Seeing Game at 30 FPS hard-drive.net/hd/video-game…

Gamer Who Hasn't Had a Glass of Water in a Week Says He Gets Physically Ill Seeing Game at 30 FPS

BUFFALO, N.Y. — Upon seeing the Nintendo Switch port of Dark Souls: Remastered in action, local gamer Ethan Bain, who hasn’t had a drink of…

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Man Names Baby After Typo Made in Group Chat hard-drive.net/hd/technology…

Man Names Baby After Typo Made in Group Chat

CLOVIS, N.M. — In recognition of a typo made by a friend in a group chat, Kenny Boskins has named his firstborn son Sellular Dada…

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