Hard Drive @HardDriveMag

Honest games, entertainment, and culture reporting supported by our community on Patreon: patreon.com/thehardtimes

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Joined May 2017
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New ‘Magic the Gathering’ Red Card Lets You Just Punch Your Opponent hard-drive.net/hd/tabletop-g…

New ‘Magic the Gathering’ Red Card Lets You Just Punch Your Opponent

The latest expansion to Magic: The Gathering includes a red card that allows players to just sock their opponents right in the kisser.

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Aging Gamer Requests Atomic Purple CPAP Machine hard-drive.net/hd/technology…

Aging Gamer Requests Atomic Purple CPAP Machine

GLEN ELLYN, Ill. — After recently developing chronic sleep apnea, aging gamer Sarah Aldridge requested that her newly prescribed CPAP machine come in atomic purple…

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Local Basketball Coach Arrested After Feeding Opposing Star Player Chocolate hard-drive.net/hd/entertainm…

Local Basketball Coach Arrested After Feeding Opposing Star Player Chocolate

Stephen Cobbs was been arrested after killing Timberwolves’ star player, Air ‘Buddy’ Bud, ahead of the state championship game this weekend.

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Couple Tearfully Agrees It’s Time to Main Other People hard-drive.net/hd/video-game…

Couple Tearfully Agrees It’s Time to Main Other People

Arjun Irukulapati and Ellen Cervantes have regretfully decided the time is right to start maining other people.

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Hard Drive @HardDriveMag
14 Jul 2023
Who Will Win the Barbie/Oppenheimer War? hard-drive.net/hd/entertainm…
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Who Will Win the Barbie/Oppenheimer War? hard-drive.net/hd/entertainm…
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Gamer Enraged to Discover Most People’s Hobbies Don’t Make Them Angry At All hard-drive.net/hd/video-game…

Gamer Enraged to Discover Most People’s Hobbies Don't Make Them Angry At All

Devin Blander reacted with apocalyptic wrath to the revelation that those around him spend their free time engaging in activities that bring them joy.

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Hard Drive @HardDriveMag
14 Jul 2023
Every Christopher Nolan Movie Ranked by When My Mom Tapped Out Watching Them hard-drive.net/hd/list/every…
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Target’s Graphic Tee Designer Struggling to Think of a Fourth Video Game hard-drive.net/hd/video-game…

Target’s Graphic Tee Designer Struggling to Think of a Fourth Video Game

Target graphic designer Evan Franklin has been working late nights, trying to come up with a fourth video game to put on a t-shirt. 

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As Mayor of This Town, I Accept Full Responsibility for Last Weekend’s Tragic ‘Twisted Metal’ Themed Summer Festival hard-drive.net/hd/video-game…

As Mayor of This Town, I Accept Full Responsibility for Last Weekend’s Tragic ‘Twisted Metal’...

Needless to say, I will be fully funding all related funerals and automobile repairs. We’ll figure out the paperwork later. 

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Elon Musk
 @elonmusk
14 Jul 2023
Replying to @DirtyTesLa
Anyone engaging in repeated theft of posts be demonetized
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Excessively Meta Video Game Seems to Know That it Sucks hard-drive.net/hd/video-game…

Excessively Meta Video Game Seems to Know That it Sucks

A new video game with numerous meta references sure seems to be aware that it’s ultimately a pretty crappy game, sources have confirmed. 

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Hard Drive @HardDriveMag
14 Jul 2023
Every Christopher Nolan Movie Ranked by When My Mom Tapped Out Watching Them hard-drive.net/hd/list/every…
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Wikipedia+ Service to Lock Film Synopses Behind Monthly Subscription hard-drive.net/hd/technology…

Wikipedia+ Service to Lock Film Synopses Behind Monthly Subscription

Wikipedia has announced a new paid subscription service that will now make users of the website pay money to read summaries of films.

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Gamer’s Sexuality Awakened After Spending Hours Crafting Perfect Man in Character Creator hard-drive.net/hd/video-game…

Gamer’s Sexuality Awakened After Spending Hours Crafting Perfect Man in Character Creator

Fern Brennan learned something about his sexuality after spending hours in Monster Hunter Rise trying to create the perfect man in the character creator.

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Hard Drive @HardDriveMag
13 Jul 2023
Every Halo 3 Map Ranked by How Good a Place It Would Be to Raise a Family hard-drive.net/hd/list/every…
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Increasingly Loud PS4 Sprouts Propeller and Flies Away hard-drive.net/hd/video-game…

Increasingly Loud PS4 Sprouts Propeller and Flies Away

TUCSON, Ariz. — A seven year old PlayStation 4 that has been making more and more noise has reportedly grown a propeller and engine system…

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The introductory paragraph is killin' it :‘D
Hard Drive @HardDriveMag
13 Jul 2023
Every Halo 3 Map Ranked by How Good a Place It Would Be to Raise a Family hard-drive.net/hd/list/every…
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