I'll be honest with you chief, anything over 15 seconds is very generous

Blanka isnt an animal, he's just brazillian.

Dhalsim would totally use at least a full minute to tell you how cool yoga is before beating you up peacefully.

AKI may take the last spot. But that's because she'd poison you and then laugh while it slowly killed you over several minutes.

I'd rank Rashid lower, personally. He'd definitely spend a few extra seconds reminding his viewers to smash that like button before smashing you in the ground with a single whirlwind.

Chun-Li can choke me between her thighs and I would enjoy.