Point 17 and 26 should be mandatory for all fictional characters. (I'm talking about fictional characters. I'm aware that not everybody needs a strong developed ass in real life)

What's nuts is that this obvious satire will read like obvious common sense to some.

They should possess the ability to teleport between any two closets. Yes...only then can I believe they're necessary.

Perfect satirical hit. When people make these kinds of complaints in real life, always makes me think: if you don't want something done unless/until it can be done perfectly, you just don't want that thing done.

"45 - My daughter says any lesbians should have their nails cut, and I’m all in favor of encouraging good hygiene too."

People in the comments acting like this will trigger, journalists (which it might, given how they might just be that stupid), but I'm pretty sure this is making fun of the people who hate on what they call "forced diversity"

Ok but this one is real though

Hard Drive 2 - Rage of the Journo

Really loved this one ^^ : "They should be able to mind-link with other gays as a means to perform surveillance throughout the city."