thank you google translate

Xbox has kidnapped Luigi and Mario will have to save him

Sony orchestrated the whole thing, in an attempt to eventually bring Super Luigi U to PS5 as a Launch Title

"Mario, Link, and…. Uh…. shoot, what’s her name?” Too cruel, HD, too cruel.

The reality will be "Eh, he'll be fine"

Luigi Cortana

This can’t be right

“dear nintendo, we have your Mario, wait— oh for fucks sake we got Luigi, eh green Mario close enough, if you want him back (don’t know why) pay up 4 Nintendo Switches, me and my friends wanna Play SMM2 together, sincerely, Microsoft”

they didn't buy him, they just kidnapped him and put out a ransom note