i almost cried when i remembered that this is a satirical publication

This one got me lmao. I was really upset before realizing this is Hard Drive.

Terry Crews in real life:

I 'm thinking about managing a cafe named Whites Only, where all walls, ceiling, and furnitures are coloured white and servers wear only white uniforms. Plates and cups are all white. Would that be offensive? Of course, anyone can be a guest regardless of their skin color.