Not technically "Nintendo" news but I am proud to announce that I finally lost my virginity 😊

For Smash Bros Ultimate, we are bringing back the rumor that if you shock Samus with Pikachu and pause at just the right second, your older cousin was able to see her naked.

The Nintendo Switch has finally granted us the technology for a feature we have always wanted at Nintendo: there will be a Yoshi color that blinds you

NINTENDO FUN FACT: if you sit on your hand until it goes numb and jerk off, it is called "The Stranger."

I have no opinions about Israel, please stop asking me!

Retweet if you want me to announce a new Animal Crossing at the Direct and watch everyone at Nintendo scramble to make that true

While you're here, don't forget to check out my SoundCloud! My DJ name is "Just a SakurGuy" bit.ly/2lRCCnM

wait shit

We're really excited to finally announce our big plans for 2019: The Year of Ludwig Von Koopa

Tip: If you're having a bad day, don't try to bury yourself alive all by yourself. IT WON'T WORK YOU NEED A PARTNER