Who isn't really

My pinky finger is hurting and the rest 9 have broken already

Life is a series of quicktime events & I've failed every single one so far

Will be expecting 17 cents direct deposit by tomorrow afternoon 😘

Skipping through all the dialogue

I'm just wandering around doing every side quest and ignoring the impending doom within the main quest.

This sounds like slang for jerkin' it

Honestly works better in Mortal Kombat.