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satire
Joined May 2017
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Tip: If you're having a bad day, don't try to bury yourself alive all by yourself. IT WON'T WORK YOU NEED A PARTNER
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We're really excited to finally announce our big plans for 2019: The Year of Ludwig Von Koopa
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While you're here, don't forget to check out my SoundCloud! My DJ name is "Just a SakurGuy" bit.ly/2lRCCnM
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Retweet if you want me to announce a new Animal Crossing at the Direct and watch everyone at Nintendo scramble to make that true
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NINTENDO FUN FACT: if you sit on your hand until it goes numb and jerk off, it is called "The Stranger."
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The Nintendo Switch has finally granted us the technology for a feature we have always wanted at Nintendo: there will be a Yoshi color that blinds you
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For Smash Bros Ultimate, we are bringing back the rumor that if you shock Samus with Pikachu and pause at just the right second, your older cousin was able to see her naked.
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Not technically "Nintendo" news but I am proud to announce that I finally lost my virginity 😊
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We have many new characters coming to Smash Bros, but we want to let the fans decide.
Which game series would you like to see a character from in Smash Bros the most?
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Trivia time!! We were going to announce today that Smash Bros Ultimate would be introducing the character "New York Police Officer" but decided to demote him to assist trophy after the bad press from Sony's Spider-Man game.
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Huge shout-out to everyone working so hard at Nintendo for making this Direct happen, especially the kindly intern who brings one glass of fresh water daily to the Smash Bros bunker where I am kept chained up until release in December! #NintendoFamily
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Really excited to reveal TWO new echo fighters for Super Smash Brothers Ultimate today!
No spoilers but *hint hint* one is a SHADOW of another character 😉 and one has a huge UNCIRCUMCISED wang 😉
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Hey guys, it's me Masahiro Sakurai and I'm taking over Hard Drive's Twitter account until the Nintendo Direct in 2 hours!
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Hero Foretold by Ancient Prophecy Prefers Fishing
thehardtimes.net/harddrive/h…
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Burglar Steals Everything But Wii U
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5 Scott Pilgrim Quotes That Nice Boy Over There Will Use to Justify Abusing You
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