(1/20)
hii everyone! i thought i write a really long tweet thread to get my thoughts written down somewhere. you can ignore this thread if you choose. its about my mental health and the source of it all.
---Social Anxiety---
i believe that my anxiety had originated
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(2/20)
from spongebob. the reason i know this is because as a kid i grew up with the show. its like the only show i grew up with besides icarly. now i didn't grow up with the first 3 seasons. (i probably did a little bit, but i can't remember). i grew up with
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(3/20)
season 4 and onward. the seasons after the first movie were mainly targeted towards young children instead of a general audience. as i look back on the episodes now that are from the first couple seasons after the first movie i realize that the episodes are
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(4/20)
highly annoying. not only that, is that i relate to these episodes heavily. like, i act a lot like spongebob and how he overthinks stuff way too often. the show in these seasons would take a small problem and make it way too big than it actually is.
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(5/20)
examples of this are the bathroom key episode where spongebob ditches class and as he goes throughout his day he begins to overthink consistently about how he'll get in trouble if he doesn't return. episodes like that is stuff i grew up with and i just think that
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(6/20)
since spongebob was such a major part of my childhood, i think most of anxiety and my strong ability to overthink originates from those seasons. as the series progressed, the kind of writing those seasons had eventually changed. there are some moments where i do
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(7/20)
relate to spongebob in the way his mentality is, its just not as often as the seasons i grew up with. now i'm not trying to make the show sound bad or hurt the show in any way, i'm just trying to get my thoughts down somewhere. a lot of kids that are my age
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(8/20)
grew up with spongebob, so maybe its just that my brain is much more absorbent? no idea.
---A.D.D---
i know exactly how my a.d.d originated. as a kid growing up i was always the weird kid who would say weird things. i was a very smart kid and had a fear
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(10/20)
ultimate confusion. i then got across to my math teacher. now my math teacher was one of the worst teachers that i have actually had in a long time. she shouldn't of been a teacher. she hated all the kids and looked for easy way to make kids get
Jun 27, 2020 · 5:11 PM UTC
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(11/20)
into trouble. you could tell she hated her job. she was never in the spirit to teach. whenever she taught anything she was incredibly hard to follow. my brain just couldn't keep up with her. so my brain eventually started to give up in a way and start daydreaming.
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(12/20)
i hated my brain for this and i hated my teacher. however, the more i hated my brain and tried focusing on my work, the easier it became for my mind to slip away. this originally only took place in math class and my mom noticed that my grades were
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(13/20)
slipping. so she contacted my math teacher and asked for tutoring and the math teacher replies with, "we don't do tutoring in middle school". so there was nothing i could do because the teacher refused to help me. eventually my brain got so addicted to
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(14/20)
daydreaming, that it just started doing it in other classes too. it just started giving up. i was doing so bad that i was taken out of the advanced class for english. eventually after i passed the first year of middle school, my next year i was trying to
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(15/20)
get myself back on track. i had a really nice math teacher that year and i was going to use him to help understand my work better. when my mom called him for tutoring, he was actually willing to give me tutoring afterschool. so i did. there was a problem tho...
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(16/20)
the class that i was put in was the worst class that i could be put in. the class couldn't sit and pay attention for crap. probably since my grade was so low that i was put in with others who didn't care. the math teacher that year had no control over the class
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(17/20)
which made it even harder to pay attention in. so my brain just got more and more hooked on daydreaming because the teacher just couldn't teach. from there, it just slipped into my other subjects and now i'm so far behind that i'm on a 5th grade level of education.
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(18/20)
i barely passed geometry this year. if it wasn't for this virus and the stupid online school system, i would of failed. i can't get my brain under control. worst part is that my a.d.d is slipping into subjects that aren't even education based.
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(19/20)
things i found fun aren't fun anymore because i can't remember doing the fun things. its really painful. my mom refuses to put me on medication because our insurance doesn't cover the good medication. my mom said if i were to take the other medication, that it
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